A DESIRE FOR DEATH In this chapter, ‘Job’ presents to us a live portrait for what is befitting for the believer to do amid his troubles, especially, as far as his relationship with his opponents is concerned. He did not disregard them, but talked to them wisely, peacefully, and truly. Yet, every now and then, he turned his face aside, and raised it up to God, to enter with Him into a frank talk. So this chapter came as a prayer from a heart tasting the bitterness from his friends, resorting to God, his unique heavenly Friend, Grantor of comfort and the savior of his soul. ‘Job’ again tries to justify his extremism in desiring death for himself. Almost this whole chapter is directed to God. Amid his sufferings, Job’, pessimistically saw all mankind more like slaves or laborers who desire the swift passing of time, to reach the end of the day, to get rest, and the wages for their labor. With his consistent sufferings, ‘Job’ always desired the dwelling of the night to get relieved of the hard time of the day. He, however, cries out that the persistent sufferings of the night and its horrible nightmares, made him long for death, instead of life! He wonders: Is man, the tiny creature, of such importance to God, to set His heart on him, and to use every chance to punish him?! (17-18; 1-3). Although he admits that he has erred; yet he wonders how his sin could make God cast him to the ground, as though he is a heavy burden! He asks God to hasten to proclaim His forgiveness, lest he would die before he enjoys remission. 1- His days are like the days of a hired man, full of hardship 1 – 6 2- Death can put an end to his present hardships 7 – 10 3- A description of his miserable conditions 11 – 16 4- A cry out to God to save him 17 – 21 1- HIS DAYS ARE LIKE THE DAYS OF A LABORER, FULL OF HARDSHIP: “Do not human beings have a hard service on earth? Are not their days like the days of a laborer?” (Job 7: 1). ‘Job’ tries to justify his extremism in desiring death for himself, on account of that life of man “is of few days and full of trouble” (Job 14: 1). As it is a fact that justifies any man who has this desire, he wonders why should he be considered as though he has committed a crime, when he does just that?! By saying “on earth” (1); which was given by God to mankind (Psalm 115: 16); he is hinting to the lowly nature of man; whose place of dwelling is still down on earth, and not up among the heavenly hosts. We live on it on a temporary basis, not governed by destiny, as believed by some; nor by blind luck, as believed by others; but governed by God’s counsel, and His high heavenly plan. Man’s life on earth is ‘hard service’, like the day of a hired hand, at the end of which he has to give an account; or like that of soldiers in an incessant battle, during which his enemies keep on fighting day and night. It is only death that decides the outcome of the battle; either to be eternally crowned, or to be in shame and disgrace! A watchman rejoices for the coming of the light of dawn (Psalm 130: 6). And a laborer rejoices in the passing of day, and the dwelling of the night, to have rest from 2 his incessant labor, and to get some sleep; as “The sleep of a laboring man is sweet” (Ecclesiastes 5: 12). Man’s life on earth is a continuous strife, like the days of a laborer anticipating his wage. That is the way ‘Job’ feels toward the futile months and the long wearisome nights allotted to him; [If I lie down, I say: ‘When shall I arise?’ And when I wake up, I say ‘When will the night dwell?’... I suffer from sunset to sunrise…. My flesh is corrupted by worms... I spoil the ground by the pus secreted by my boils!... My days are of no value like vain talk, and spent without hope.... I say: “My bed will comfort me; Then You scare me with dreams, and terrify me with visions” (Job 7: 1-6; 13, 14 LXX)1]. How miserable man is! He is like a hired hand, he labors and strives for others; while he, himself is in need, and cannot support himself, except through the compassion of others! Every day he suffers bitter servitude, and fear that his master would catch him while hiding in the shade of this world. If you think of what ‘Sirach’ says in the Book of wisdom (Ecclesiasticus): “The one who sins against his marriage bed, says to himself, ‘Who can see me? Darkness surrounds me, the walls hide me, and no one see me, Why should I worry?’” (Sirach 23: 18). Do not you think that this man is like a stupid laborer?!...Or like the young man, on whom it is written in the gospel, that he got his portion in inheritance; wasted his possessions with prodigal living; and ended up shepherding the flocks of others, to satisfy his needs with his wages (Luke 15: 11-16). Yet that young man, at least, eventually repented, and went back to his father; he did not hide his sins, but revealed them. He, who assumes that God does not see him; and thinks that his iniquities could be hidden in the darkness; This man who lives in the shadow, would never escape from the eye of God, that reveals all secrets, sheds light on every darkness, enters into the depths of the hearts; and goes through all depths and the heights (John 3: 19-20; Sirach 23: 19 (28)). He, who assumes that he is protected by darkness, is mistaken; For he cannot escape from the light that illuminates the darkness; and could not be overcome by it (John 1: 5). Everything is known to the lord; not only concerning the events of the past, but those of the future as well2. Whoever assumes that he can hide his iniquity, is lost in vain hope “The talk of the fools is offensive” (Sirach 27: 13 (14); produce no fruits; and “A fool’s chatter is like a burden in a journey” (Sirach 21: 16 (19). Sin is nothing but a burden on the shoulder of the passersby in this world. In case he wishes to relieve himself of such a burden, he should head the words of the Lord, who says: “Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11: 28)3.St. Ambrose God is in His saints, when they are tempted; but sanctification follows temptation. It is not possible for anyone, even a saint, to go through this world 1 De interpellatione Job et David, Book ترجمة جرجس كامل . 1:2:5 2 De interpellatione Job et David, Book ترجمة جرجس كامل . 1:3:6 3 De interpellatione Job et David, Book ترجمة جرجس كامل . 1:3:7 3 without temptation; As, according to ‘Job’: “Human beings have a hard service on earth” (Job 7: 1); Namely, the life of man on earth is nothing but a strife1. In the Book of ‘Job’, we read that, while a messenger was telling him the bad news, another one came with more bad news (1: 16). According to the Hebrew version, it is also written: “There is war against man on earth”. In this life, we strive in order to be crowned in the coming life; we risk our life in the battle of this world. The Holy Book testifies that God tempted Abraham (Genesis 22: 1); And for this same reason, the apostle says: “We glory in our suffering; knowing that suffering produces endurance; and endurance produces character; and character produces hope; Now hope does not disappoint us” (Romans 5: 3-5); And somewhere else, he says: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written: ‘For Your sake we are being killed all day long; We are accounted as sheep to be slaughtered” (Romans 8: 25, 36). Those are comforted by the prophet Isaiah by the following word: “Whom will he teach knowledge? Those just weaned from milk?, those just drawn from the breasts? For percept must be upon percept; line upon line...” (Isaiah 28; 9, 10 LXX). ; and as also expressed by the apostle, saying: “The sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8: 18)2. St. Jerome When you flee from Egypt, you will come over to extremely high ascents of work and faith. You will face towers, seas, and waves. You would not go through the way of life, without the waves of temptations. The apostle says: “All who desire to live godly in Christ Jesus, will suffer persecution” (2 Timothy 3: 12). ‘Job’, with no less eloquence, say: “Our life on earth is time of hard service” (Job 7: 1) 3. The scholar Origen ‘Job’ in his turn quoting the words of Eliphaz: “Man is born to trouble” (Job 5: 7); by them he reached the ultimate result; that, beside God’s decree that man’s life has to be tough; it is actually man’s nature that produces such temptations; Yet ‘Job’ added the words: “on earth”; as it would not be so “in heaven”. St. John Chrysostom This life is nothing but a multitude of “snares”. “We are stepping among snares” (Sirach 9: 13); we are living among a multitude of temptations; Man’s life on earth is nothing but a state of temptation (Job 7: 1 LXX). He did well by adding: “on earth”; as there are those whose life is in heaven. His life “on earth” is like that of a hired hand, all trouble and labor; or a kind of vain story; that swims in words, and pours out words! Its dwelling place is of clay; and life itself is mire; No abidance of thought; “At daytime, man longs for the night; And at night, he searches for the day” (See Job 7: 4)4. St. Ambrose 1 On Ps., homily 7. 2 Letter 130 to Demetrias, 7. 3 Homilies on Exodus, homily 5: 3. 4 Death is Good, 3: 12. 4 All these evils dwelling on you will eventually pass by; And He, whose coming you patiently anticipate, will come, will wipe out the sweat of labor; will dry up tears; and there will be no more crying. Here below, we have to moan among temptations; as according to ‘Job’: “Man’s life on earth is nothing but a tribulation” (Job 7: 1) 1. My evil grieves are struggling against my good rejoices. On which side will victory be? I do not know! Woe to me! Have compassion on me, O Lord! Woe to me! Behold, I did not hide my wounds! You are the Physician, and I am the sick man!’ You are Merciful, and I am miserable. Is life of man on earth, not a temptation? Who may love the sources of troubles? You command us to endure troubles; not to love them! No man loves what he endures; and yet, he has to keep on enduring2! You should never assume that you could be without sin, as long as you are in this life. We read in the Holy Book: “Is life of man on earth, not a temptation?” Therefore, as long as we are in this body, we should keep saying in our prayers, as the Lord has taught us: “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us” (Matthew 6: 13). Remember to hasten to forgive him, who trespasses against you, if he asks for forgiveness; so that you can faithfully pray, and gain the forgiveness of your sins3. “Life of man on earth is a temptation” (Job 7: 1). Nobody is completely secure; and is not supposed to be, until he comes to that city, from which a friend would be driven out; nor into which an enemy would come in. While being here in the glory of the church, we recognize the echoes of our temptations; And as members in Christ, we submit to our Head in a bond of love; support one another in a mutual spirit; and recite what we find in the Psalms about the martyrs who preceded us, saying, that temptations are common on all humans, from the beginning to the end4. As much as one loves his heavenly home; his journey on earth, in itself, becomes a great temptation... In this temptation; namely, in this life, he, who abides, would seek God5. Although you indeed live in chastity, purity, and virginity; Yet, what is your life here? Do not you feel humble when you hear the words saying: “Life of man on earth is nothing but a temptation!”? Does it not draw you away of your self-boasting, when you hear the words, saying: “Woe to the world because of offenses” (Matthew 18: 7)? Are you not terrified, lest you may be counted among those whose love will grow cold because of iniquity (Matthew 24: 12)? Do you not strike your chests when you hear the warning: “Let him who thinks he stands take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10: 12).? 1 On Ps. 29, Discourse, 2: 8. 2 Confessions 10:28:39. 3 Letter 189 to Boniface, 8. 4 On Ps. 69 (68). 5 On Ps. 77 (76). 5 Amid these divine warnings, and human risks, Is it not befitting to exhort the saintly virgins to be humble?1. It is not befitting for man to feel secure in this life, which is altogether a temptation (Job 7: 1). He who became in a better condition, I wish he would not again become worse. Our only hope, our only trust, and our only sure promise, is in your mercies, O Lord2. I say: “I wish I have two wings like a dove, to fly away and find rest, somewhere in the wilderness! Yet even there, I probably would practice the same experience! Because, life of man on earth is indeed, a temptation3! No one should become sure of where he stands, before he consummates his life on earth, which is nothing but a temptation! God exhorts us to have perseverance in it up to the end; and to pray: “Lead us not into temptation” (Matthew 6: 13)4. We cannot say with absolute certainty, that somebody is righteous, until he depart from this world; For, in his life on earth, which is nothing but a temptation, “Let him who thinks he stands, take heed lest he fall” (1 Corinthians 10: 12)5. “There, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is” (1 John 3: 2). But here, As long as “the perishable body weighs down the soul” (Wisdom 9: 15); And as long as the life on earth is a temptation (Job 7: 1), “In His sight, no one living is righteous” (Psalm 143: 2)6. It is now obvious enough that, in this life, which is wholly a temptation, no one should boast that he has become free of all sins7. A haughty man, who thinks of himself, as in no need to say: “Forgive us our trespasses” (Matthew 6: 13), is not a great man, but rather an adversary to God, who “gives grace to the humble” (James 4: 6; 1 Peter 5: 5) 8. St. Augustine “Are his days not like those of a laborer?”... The days of man, with some knowledge of the truth and the eternities, are like the days of a laborer; When he counts the present life as ‘his way’, and not ‘his city’; as ‘a strife’, and not ‘a victory’. Believing that he is far from his reward, he slowly retreats more, to approach his goal... Now, It is said with the voice of the Savior: “My kingdom is not of this world” (John 18: 36). Therefore, We all, who are granted hope in heaven, are clothed with the troubles of the present life; and are preoccupied with caring for others. Yet, even in serving the sons of perdition, we are committed to give back to the world, what actually belong to it; By caring for what is for others, we get the reward that is ours; Namely, to be faithfully preoccupied with the affairs of others, in order to reach our reward; Lest we hear what the ‘Truth’ says to some: “If you have not been faithful in what is another man’s, who will give you what is your own?” (Luke 16: 12) 1 Of Holy Virginity, 40. 2 Confession, 10:32 (48). 3 Letters, 95:3. 4 On the Gift of Perseverance, 62. 5 On the Gift of Perseverance, 33. 6 On the Trinity 4:3:5. 7 On Virginity, 48. 8 City of God, 19:27. 6 The citizens of the higher land say to their Creator, the words of the Psalmist: “For Your sake we are killed all day long” (Psalm 44: 22); And those of the apostle Paul: “By the boasting in you which I have in Christ Jesus our Lord, I die daily” (1 Corinthians 15: 31); And: “For this reason I also suffer these things; Nevertheless I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that he is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day” (2 Corinthians 1: 12). It is befitting for us to notice that he did not say that man’s life would be followed by a temptation, but he described it as being itself a temptation! As, having the freedom of will, man diverted from the upright state according to which he was created, and became submitted to a lowly corrupt state. Delivering harm to itself, man’ life, became what it came down to: became nothing but a ‘temptation’. As, even if we keep ourselves from committing sin, while us practice good works, the cloud of memory of the evil ones would dwell upon our souls. Pope Gregory the Great Pope Gregory the Great presents to us several examples of how the life of man, even in his spiritual strife, became a ‘temptation’, from which he suffers: As an example, he says that man, while he strives, should abstain from the exaggerated luxurious way of living. That abstention, itself, could be a source of temptation to him. When people notice that his face has become pale, they count him worthy of commendation, which may cause vain glory to infiltrate into his mind! Another example: If man is granted some knowledge of the divine law, he may rejoice to have more understanding than others; And through haughtiness, he may corrupt the grace of understanding that he has got; And on the day of judgment, he would be in a condition worse than others; through the same thing in which he seemed to have more splendor in this life. So he presents several examples of many virtues which may turn to destroy man, because of his corrupted nature; So that what is for his edification, would, itself, become for his perdition; on account of that his life is actually a ‘temptation’. St. Augustine wonders why, If, in the Book of ‘Job’ it is said that the life of man on earth is nothing but a temptation (Job 7: 1 LXX), Why then, should we pray, saying: “Lead us not into temptation”?. He answers, saying, that we should discern between two kinds of temptations: One in which there is a provocation to sin; about which it is said: “Let no one say when he is tempted, ‘I am tempted by God’” James 1: 13). And there is also a temptation for justification; about which it is said: “For the Lord your God is testing you to know whether you love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul” (Deuteronomy 13: 3). Of course God already knows what is in the heart; But he means for us here to know what is in our own heart1. “I know that the life of man on earth is a temptation” (Job 7: 1); and that “A heavy yoke is laid on the children of Adam” (Sirach 40: 1). But what gives me more pleasure is to take into consideration that we are travelers or sojourners on this earth; here we get the down payment, until we reach our high city; that, once we do, we shall never leave2! St. Augustine 1 Cf. Sermons on N.T. Lessons 7:9 2 On Ps. 119 (118). 7 “Like a servant who earnestly desires the shade, and like a hired man who eagerly looks for his wages” (Job 7: 2). Like a servant who labors all the day long, and desires to rest in the shade, ‘Job’ desires, through death, to depart from the heat of this world, to the shade of the grave! The length of the shadow refers to the end of the day and its labor, that a servant desires to reach. In India, time used to be measured by the length of a person’s shadow. If someone enquires, how long his day’s work was, he could be told by measuring the length of his shadow1! “Deliver me , O Lord, from my enemies, In You I take shelter” (Psalm 143: 9). I, who once escaped from You, Now, I escape to You. In the Book of ‘Job’, it is written about Adam, who escaped from the face of God, and hid himself between the trees of paradise. Woe to him if he remains in that shade about which it is also said: “All those things have vanished like a shadow” (Wisdom 5: 9)2. St. Augustine “Like a servant who earnestly desires the shade, and like a hired hand who eagerly look for his wages, I have been allotted months of futility, and wearisome nights have been appointed to me” (Job 7: 2, 3).... Paul exhaustively hasten to grasp that shade, having the desire to depart and be with Christ (Philippians 1: 23); A shade that is actually acquired by those who say by their whole hearts: “We, who have borne the burden and the heat of the day” (Matthew 20: 12)... That is the reason why Paul, persistently and daringly, exalts before all tribulations, “Like a hired man who eagerly looks for his wages”... proclaiming, “We were burdened beyond measure, above strength, so that we despaired even of life” (2 Corinthians 1: 8). Yet, wiping out the sweat of that exhausting labor, by the towel of his reward, he says: “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us” (Romans 8: 18). Pope Gregory the Great “So I have been allotted months of futility, and wearisome nights have been appointed to me” (Job 7: 3). Amid his sufferings, ‘Job’ considers that all his days were futile; that all the months of his life were evil, and that all its nights were trouble. As, because of his deteriorated health, he could no longer do any work, he forgot all about what he has done in the days of his good health and prosperity; that God did not forget. He feels that his mere existence on earth has become a burden on the congregation, not knowing that he is treasured by God, and not aware that he is a blessing to others. The believer longs for the eternal rest, being like a shade to which he resorts after suffering from the heat of the sun of temptations and afflictions in this world. In this, he realizes that his life is but a short journey, not measured by years, but by futile days and wearisome nights; yet a life passing to a glorified eternity. The more we realize how short the time is, the more we rejoice in our crossing over to eternity, disregarding the burden and labor of the present life. He considers life as futile months and wearisome nights, counted and limited; “appointed to me”. Remembering the months, he does not forget the nights; the 1 James M. Freeman: Manners and Customs of the Bible, Logos International Plainfield. N J, 1972, p. 208 2 On Ps. 143 (142). 8 believer cares for his salvation as a whole; for his life as one unit; and for every single night of it; with every little and big detail in his behavior. “When I lie down, I say, ‘When shall I arise, and the night be ended’? For I have had my fill of tossing till dawn” (Job 7: 4). His nights became too long, with no sleep. Minutes are dragging along; Yet, at the same time, he does not expect to get a new day of rest. It is neither the place nor time that give man a true rest, but it is the inner peace of heart. He, who hopes to escape from his suffering by going to sleep by night, may experience horrible anxiety, probably more than his sufferings by day. In these phrases, Pope Gregory the Great hears the screams of the holy church, passing through this life, full of corruption. With her condition of unsettlement, she desires, through perpetual contemplation in God, to settle down in Him, to get a stronghold by Him, and to minister to Him as she should; away from the corruption that could never touch or approach her. Sin has corrupted the life of man and deprived him of feeling settled; He became in perpetual struggle; Resting by night, he seeks to wake up to work; And working by day, he seeks to get rest. As sin deprives him of acquiring God, his mind finds no more comfort; his true comfort is in God, the source of comfort. Pope Gregory the Great has another interpretation as well: that sleep here refers to falling into sin, that brings corruption to man. If sleep is not a symbol of sin, Paul would not say to his disciples: “Awake to righteousness, and do not sin” (1 Corinthians 15: 34); and, “Awake, you who sleep, arise from the dead, and Christ will give you light” (Ephesians 5: 14); and, “Now, it is high time to awake out of sleep” (Romans 13: 11). Through consenting to evil works, we would perish by corruption; And through allowing evil thought to settle in our heart, it would get defiled; That is why he says: “My body is clothed with the defilement of dust” Pope Gregory the Great “My flesh is caked with worms and dust, My skin hardens, then breaks out again” (Job 7: 5) His boils produced worms that covered his body like a robe around him; and his skin cracked, broke, and became like dust. Who can describe how ‘Job’ looked, as a heap of dirt packed with worms, with an awful disgusting smell? The boils of his body were preparing for him a crown in heaven1. St. Jerome “My days are swifter than a weaver’s shuttle, and are spent without hope” (Job 7: 6). Job’s desire for a swift coming of death, is justified by the deteriorating condition of his body, which is no more capable of resistance; indicating that his days on earth are very few, and that his life on earth is coming to an end, with no hope of ever returning to his former prosperous self! 2- DEATH CAN PUT AN END TO HIS PRESENT HARDSHIPS: “Oh, remember that my life is a breath! My eyes will never again see good” (Job 7: 7). “Job’ probably noticed that his friends, although they did not interrupt him while he was talking, yet they could not bear to look at him in his horrible condition, 1 Homilies on Psalms, 6. 9 nor to hear his voice speaking. That is why he turned from talking to them to speaking to God; who alone, with His longsuffering, would listen to the wounded hearts, and would never be disgusted to look at distorted bodies. He cried out to God, saying: “Oh, remember that my life is a breath” , intending to draw God’s compassion on him; being a weak creature, whose life is swiftly expiring like a passing away breath; According to the words of the Psalmist: “Remember that they were but flesh, a breath that passes away” (Psalm 78: 39). Like ‘job’ who put before his eyes the obvious fact that his life is short, and that his death is inevitable; We, likewise, should never set our hope on this world, connect ourselves to seen objects, nor be submitted by sensed things. Our happiness here, is only set on our realization that we are just sojourners, who should walk faithfully, and with a rejoicing spirit, until we cross over to our perpetual home. As the eyes of the dead would never again see good, and his soul would never again practice the good works; Realizing these facts, the rich man perishing in the fire of hell, said to his father Abraham: “I beg you father, that you would send him (the beggar Lazarus) to my father’s house, for I have five brothers, that he may testify to them, lest they also come to this place of torment” (Luke 16: 27-28). Pope Gregory the Great “The eye of him who sees me will see me no more, While Your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be” (Job 7: 8). ‘Job; noticed how his friends sat seven days around him not uttering a single word; Looking at him, like blind, they could not see his real person; Whereas God’s eyes were upon him; even though, in the midst of all those tribulations, he might seem as though he is no more there, or has already lost his life and being! Man is in need of God’s eyes to be upon him, as He alone can look into the heart, comfort, and renew it. When our Lord Jesus Christ, in the midst of his trial, looked at His disciple, Simon Peter; Not able to bear the Lord’s eyes, the later went outside and cried bitterly; until after the resurrection, when he encountered the Lord, who raised him up from the tomb of his denial, and brought him back to his shepherding task. ‘Job’, the tempted, realized that he had no other way to deal with what allowed by God to happen to him, but to raise it up to God Himself. Time will swiftly pass on, and those who see us will see us no more; “When we go away, and are no more” (Psalm 39: 13); When we forsake what is seen, to enjoy the unseen! By saying: “While Your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be”, the righteous ‘Job’ reveals that he trusts in God’s care for him; and in that He will send him to enjoy eternity; Yet not for any good thing he has done. That is why he says: “I shall no longer be”.; I shall die; But who will raise me up but You? And who will bring me to glory but you? “The eye of him who sees me, will see me no more” (8). “He, whose eye sees me” is the compassionate Savior, who, when He looks at us, softens the cruelty of our dryness. When the Lord looked at Simon Peter, he remembering the words of the Lord,…, went outside and bitterly cried (Luke 22: 61-62). But after death, nothing can save man, in case the grace of God did not grant him forgiveness before his death. That is why the apostle Paul says: “Behold, now is the accepted time; Behold, now is the day of salvation” (2 Corinthians 6: 2).; and the Psalmist says: “For (the Lord) is good; because His mercy endures forever” (Psalm 118: 1). 10 Whoever is not saved by God’s mercy in the present time, Justice will bring him over to punishment. Solomon says: “If a tree falls to the south or the north, In the place where the tree falls, there it shall be” (Ecclesiastes 11: 3). At the time a human being falls, It is either the Holy Spirit, or the evil spirit, who receives his departing soul from the chambers of his body, and keep it forever without change.. As after the present life, man could not be seen by “an eye of man”; He added directly: “Your eyes are upon me, I shall no longer be”; As though he is saying: [When You come for judgment, You will not look to save, but to punish;... Because he, upon whom You do not look with Your compassionate care in the present time, You will look upon him later through the law of justice]. Pope Gregory the Great “As the cloud disappears and vanishes away, so he who goes down to the grave and does not come up” (Job 7: 9). In his talk to God, ‘Job’ admits that he is heading to his final place with no return to this world; and that his life here on earth, is like a moving cloud that vanishes with no return. Saying: “The dead do not praise the Lord” (Psalm 115: 17); and, “he who goes down to the grave, does not come up” (9); reveals that this life is the only time for remorse and forgiveness; And that only those who faithfully walk in this life, will praise God; Those who die in sins, would no longer be in a position to praise Him after death, like those who enjoyed blessings. They will mourn themselves; as praise is for the faithful, and mourning is for those under punishment1. As to the phrase: “he who goes down to the grave and does not come up” (Job 7: 9); We should notice that it is directly followed by the words: “He shall never return to his house” (10); We should also listen to ‘Job’ saying: “For there is hope for a tree, if it is cut down, that it will sprout again, and that its tender shoots will not cease, though its root may grow old in the earth, and its stump may die in the ground, yet at the scent of water it will bud and bring forth branches like a plant. But man dies and is laid away; Indeed he breathes his last, and where is he?” (Job 14: 7-10). Here ‘Job’ admonishes and blames! He says: [If a tree falls down, then lives again; Would man not live again, he, for whom all trees were created?! Yet, he adds: “If a man dies, shall he live again? All the days of my hard service I will wait, till my release should come” (Job 14: 14); And somewhere else he says: “And after my skin is destroyed, this I know, that in my flesh I shall see God” (Job 19: 26). And Isaiah says: “Your dead shall live,... the earth shall cast out the dead” (Isaiah 26: 19). And in Hezekiel the Lord says ”Behold, O My people, I will open your graves and cause you to come up from graves”(Hezeliel 37; 12); And in Daniel: “And many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, some to shame and everlasting contempt” (Daniel 12: 2)2. St. Cyril of Jerusalem It is as though he clearly proclaims that whoever soars high (like a cloud), and feels proud of himself, would vanish and end up to naught. Hearts of the miserable are likened to clouds, becoming dark with the dense mist of the multitude of their sins; but when the heat of final judgment shines on them, they vanish altogether with the wind. 1 Catechetical Lectures, 5:4. 2 Catechetical Lectures, 18:14. 11 Pope Gregory the Great “He shall never return to his house, nor shall his place know him anymore” (Job 7: 10). ‘Job’ clearly knows that by his death, he will never return to his house in this world; will never possess anything, enjoy the earthly things, or practice temporal activities. He would forsake everything to whoever comes after him and occupies his place. “His place will know him no more”: ‘Job’ after his death would not only forsake his place, but his place and those living in it would never know where ‘Job’ is; Every connection between them would be severed. Once man is delivered to the eternal judgment, he would never return from there. Pope Gregory the Great When the Lord Christ healed the demon-possessed man, He said to him: “Go home” (Mark 5: 19); namely, instructed him to go back deep into his depths, and refrain from sinning any more. Whereas after death, no one can go back home to reform his depths and refrain from sinning. Man is created to contemplate in his Creator, perpetually to seek to be according to His image, and to dwell in the joy of His love. Whereas if he is driven out of his soul through rebellion, he would lose his mental foundation; and would be left outside in the dark alleys, wandering away from the dwelling place of the true Light. “His place will know him no more”; Man’s place is not his material location; The Creator, Himself, has become man’s place; which he left it when he listened to the words of the deceitful, forsaking the love of His Creator. .. There are many who, after receiving help from the Savior, descended into the darkness of despair, and eternally perished again, as they despised the medications of mercy provided to them; About whom it is truly said: “Their place will know them no more” . It is to be noticed that He did not say: “He will know his place no more”, but “His place will know him no more” ; The word ‘know’ refers, not to the person but to the place, that would ultimately say firmly to those dwelling in evil: “I do not know you, where you are from” (Luke 13: 25). Pope Gregory the Great 3- A DESCRIPTION OF JOB’S MISERABLE CONDITION: “Therefore, I will not restrain my mouth; I will speak in the anguish of my spirit; I will complain in the bitterness of my soul” (Job 7: 11). When David realized the vanity of temporal life, he said: “I was mute with silence; I held my peace” (Psalm 39: 2); Whereas ‘Job’, realizing the same fact, did not hold his peace, but bitterly complained, to present his final will to his friends and those around him. In our last breath, it is befitting for us, instead of complaining and moaning, to confess our sins, beside praising and thanking God; in order to set forth in God’ peace. “I will not restrain my mouth”. Because he, who feel ashamed to confess the evil he committed is “restraining his mouth” ;... The Psalmist says: “Let us come before His presence with thanksgiving (with confession)” (Psalm 95; 2); And Solomon says: “He who covers his sins will not prosper; But whoever confesses 12 and forsakes them will have mercy” (Proverbs 28: 13); And also says that “a righteous man is the first to accuse himself” (See Proverbs 18: 17). “I will speak in the anguish of my spirit”; As “the anguish of the spirit” makes the tongue speak; and the voice of confession would be against the commitment of evil. We should take into consideration, that while the wicked confess their sins, they are extremely proud of them, and would never regret doing them. Whereas the elect, in their confession, bitterly and tearfully condemn themselves. That is why, after ‘Job’ pledged not to restrain his mouth, he did well by adding right away the words “in the anguish of my spirit”. “I will speak in the anguish of my spirit”... The anguish of spirit has its own tongue in the heart of the righteous, that utters more accurately, and is listened to, more attentively (than the physical tongue). That is why he did not say “I will talk” in the anguish of my spirit”, but said, “I will speak (debate)...”; As the power of grief, deals with every sin, one by one, and provokes the mind to wail. Pope Gregory the Great When you get preoccupied with a sin, you should go forward and accuse yourself (see Proverbs 18: 17), and not wait for others to do that on your behalf. By this you would become like a righteous man who hastens to be the first to plead guilty in court; Or would be like ‘Job’, who did not delay, to proclaim his sins before all the people in his city1… St. Basil the Great God the Father will listen to you, while speaking within yourself, and will hasten to encounter you, as he sees you coming from afar. Aware of what is in your heart, He hastens before anyone would delay you; and embraces you in His bosom. ‘Encountering you’ is based on His prior knowledge; And ‘embracing you’ is a proclamation of His mercy, and anexpression of His fatherly love. He falls on your neck, to haul you up; you fallen under the heavy burden of sins; and to bring you back to heaven, having prostrated yourself to the ground, to seek your Creator. Christ falls on your neck, to set it free from the yoke of bondage, and to replace it by His easy yoke and His light burden (Matthew 11: 30). He falls on your neck, saying: “Come to me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11: 28). That is how the Lord embraces you when you repent2. St. Ambrose “Am I a sea, or a dragon, that you set a guard over me?” (Job 7: 12). David the Psalmist, as he thought about his crossing over from this world, looked up to God, was mute with silence, and held his peace, to praise God with his heart, and to contemplate in the glories that God has prepared for him. ‘Job’, on the other hand, looking within himself, and thinking about his sufferings, became very furious; yet gave himself an excuse, saying: “Am I a sea or a dragon?” Am I an incessantly stormy sea that needs to be controlled? Or a dragon to be restrained, before it devours all the fish in the sea? 1 On Humility. 2 In Luc 15: 11-32. 13 I am not as powerful as the sea, which you made great among the creations, and set sand all around it to guard and limit it, and to break down its authority. And I am not as crafty as the dragon (the serpent), you put enmity between it and man; whom you commanded to keep away from him, saying: “I will put enmity between you and the woman, and between your offspring and hers; he will strike your head, and you will strike his heel” (Genesis 3: 15). “You set a guard over me”; an envious traitor, to watch over all my deeds and words, and even to search all my thoughts. He, who accused me of something that I never put into my consideration: that I, a faithful servant, in order to gain the vain temporal happiness, did not keep your commandment, for the sake of the coming life (Matthew 24: 25; 25: 21, 23). Under such a guard, who is also my enemy, I became miserably bound and shackled, and went through extremely fierce temptations; And You even stretched Your hand to help him against me! Father Hesychius of Jerusalem “When I say, ‘My bed will comfort me, my couch will ease my complaint...’” (Job 7: 13). Being human, he hoped to find in sleep a relief from what he suffers, and a chance for a temporary comfort! In the Holy Book, the word ‘bed’ is often used to refer to the secrets of the depths of the heart. Every soul, whom the Groom stabs with the spears of holy love, says in the Song of songs: “By night on my bed, I sought the one I love” (Song 3: 1) And the ‘Truth’ says to His beloved disciples: “The kingdom of God is within you” (Luke 17: 21); And “It is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you” (John 16: 7); As though He is telling them clearly: [If I do not take your attention away from concentrating on My seen body, I would not be able to guide you by the Helper Spirit, to realize the unseen. That is why the Psalmist says about the righteous: “Let the saints be joyful in glory; Let them sing aloud on their beds” (Psalm 149: 5); As, fleeing from the outside harm, they become glorified in peace within the depths of their hearts. Pope Gregory the Great When you say the truth, you liken the angels who never sleep because they are always on guard, and would never escape from confronting the truth, through vain fantasies1. Sleep here, is of an unfamiliar kind; and differs from the regular sleep, in which man is unaware of what goes on around him; A kind that makes the bride, contradictorily say: “I sleep, but my heart is awake” (Song 5: 2); A kind of sleep like death; in which all sensory functions: vision, hearing, smell, taste, and touch, almost stop; blood pressure is reduced, anxiety is forgotten, fear is slowed down, anger is reigned, and awareness of evil is gone! That makes the exalted bride of the Song of songs boast saying: “I sleep, but my heart is awake” (Song 5: 2) 2. St. Gregory of Nyssa Cast away from yourself the sleep of ignorance, to knock on the door of Christ, sought by St. Paul to be open for him, to be able to talk about the secret of Christ 1 عظة 5 على نشید الأناشید ترجمة الدكتور جورج نوّار. 2 عظة 10 على نشید الأناشید ترجمة الدكتور جورج نوّار. 14 (Colossians 3: 4). And is probably the same door which St. John saw open in his revelation, and said: “After these things I looked, and behold, a door standing open in heaven; and the first voice which I heard was like a trumpet speaking with me, saying: ‘Come up here, and I will show you things which must take place after this’” (Revelation 4: 1). That door was opened to John and to Paul to gain for our sake, bread for our food; They persisted on knocking on it, whether the time is favorable or unfavorable (2 Timothy 4: 2), to restore, by the abundance of the heavenly food, life to the Gentiles, who labored and got exhausted by the ways of this world1. St. Ambrose “Then you scare me with dreams, and terrify me with visions” (Job 7: 14). Because sleep could not relieve him of his affliction, but dreams scared him, and visions terrified him; Night became for him more disturbing than day. We need the strong hand of God to keep us; Our divine Guard, who alone, would never sleep. Because dreams are usually deceiving visions by our hidden enemy, they are referred to as: “Dreams have deceived many” (Sirach 34: 7). Pope Gregory the Great “So that my soul chooses strangling and death rather than this body” (Job 7: 15). He did not care for a particular kind of death; but was preoccupied with seeking it from God, not just to save him from affliction, but from his whole temporal life! “I loathe my life; I would not live forever. Let me alone, for my days are but a breath” (Job 7: 16). Beside the calamities that dwelt over the righteous ‘Job’, including the loss of his possessions, the death of his children, and the oppression by his wife, St. John Chrysostom mentions the following issues that added to the bitterness of the temptation: 1- His lack of sure knowledge of the kingdom of heaven and of the resurrection; for which he sadly says: “I would not live forever” (16). 2- Feeling that he has done many good things. 3- Feeling that he has done no evil. 4- Assuming that what dwelt upon him was by God’s hand; because if it was by Satan’s hand, it would be easier on him to endure! 5- Hearing his friends accusing him, saying: “God exacts from you less than your iniquity deserves” (Job 11: 6). 6- Seeing those who live in evil prospering and boasting on him. 7- He could not think of anyone who has equally suffered2. [Set me free of my life, set my soul free from my body, and my bones from death; I would not live forever, to be committed to endure with patience!]. When he says “I would not live forever”, he obviously refer to this material earthly life, as being weak, corrupt, unsettled, and will soon come to an end; namely, it does not bear the features of the eternal life. Father Hesychius of Jerusalem 1 In Luc 11:15 -13. 2 The Gospel of St. Matthew homily 33:7. 15 4- A CRY OUT TO GOD TO SAVE HIM: “What is man, that You should make so much of him, that you set your mind on him” (Job 7: 17) In his affliction, Job feels that man is not worth that God sets His mind on him, or tests him; As though he is saying to God: [I am not worthy of visiting me every morning, and of testing me every moment; I am not worthy of standing before you; completely helpless to enter such a crucible of temptations; “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you visit him” (Psalm 8: 4)]. ‘Job’ stands astonished before God’s exalted care for man; Despite man’s weakness and low status; yet God is preoccupied with testing him, in order to justify and glorify him. ‘Job’ marvels how God sets his heart on man; how he looks at him as an object of his love and compassion; and sets for him a place in His divine heart; how he visits him every morning with new mercies, as a loving friend; or as a physician enquires about the progress of his patient’s health! In a talk by St. Gregory of Nyssa concerning the creation of man, he marvels how God has created the world a magnificent palace, and prepared it for Adam and Eve as a king and a queen; how He presented to man every possibility of happiness and authority over all the creation that he made for his sake. And in a talk about the true greatness and the vain one, St. (Mar) Jacob El- Serougy1 demonstrated with admiration God’s exalted love for man; how He adorned heaven with stars, provided earth with beautiful creatures, and offered them to become under the authority of man; how God intended for man to have greatness and glory; But, through the devil’s envy, man fell into vain greatness, and lost the true one. And yet God allowed Adam to return to what he used to be – to dust; Not to humiliate him, but not to keep him from living forever, after losing his greatness; So that that once he discovers his actual status, he would gain glory through the work of the Savior. God glorifies man, by enriching him with an abundance of the gift of mind, by visiting him with the inspiration of grace; and by glorifying him with the greatness of the gift of virtue. Although he is nothing in himself, Yet, through the compassionate generosity of God’s love, He grants him to partake of the knowledge of God Himself. Having set His heart on man, glorified him, and brought him over to judgment ,after granting him His gifts, God accurately and firmly weighs man’s worthiness, and presents a punishment that goes according to the multitude of privileges He has granted him. Pope Gregory the Great Who, among the earthly beings, is created in the image of God, but man? To whom has God given the authority over nature and all its creatures, to be his own? It is a genuine honor that crowns his forehead, and exalts him to heaven, soaring above the stars, and haughtier than the sun ... Although he of a lower level than the angels, being bound by a physical body, Yet he is granted the power to know and understand his Lord and Creator2. St. Basil the Great He spread the sky and set in it all sources of light: the sun, the moon, and the stars. 1 میمر "على العظمة" یُق أ ر یوم الأربعاء من الأسبوع الثاني من الصوم الكبیر. 2 Hom. In Ps 48, 8, PG 29:450 b. 16 Without asking for it, the sky was adorned with magnificent sceneries that impress the onlookers. The sun has no tongue to seek from Him a great light to shine over the whole creation. With fantastic colors, He adorned all races of birds and beasts since the beginning. The creation was made perfect, and has never changed. And once the house of creation is set as a wondrous building, adorned with unutterable things. The Creator intended to set in it someone more beautiful. He took dust and made Adam, and breathed in his face a living breath of life. He made for him an equally wondrous soul. He made him in His own image, and filled him with glory and splendor. The light of the sun was eclipsed, before the glory and splendor of the radiant light granted to man by his Creator. St. (Mar) Jacob El-Serougi Adam was not created to die, but to strive for the sake of eternity; And to reveal his authenticity, and to prove it, God: “ granted him the zeal of the Spirit”... And now, through Baptism, He works on giving him an unutterable down-payment -- the Holy Spirit1. St. John Chrysostom “...That You should visit him every morning, and test him every moment?” (Job 7: 18). David said, what is almost identical to this phrase: “Lord, what is man, that you take knowledge of him? Or the son of man, that you are mindful of him” (Psalm 144: 3). Why did David say this about man, and what was going on in his mind when he added: “Man is like a breath; his days are like a passing shadow” (Psalm 144: 4). The righteous, in their ignorance, ask God: Lord, Why do You glorify this weak creature, and why are you so mindful of him?… Being the Beneficent, and the Philanthropic, God often visits the one He created, and gives him so much interest, that David adds: “Bow down Your heaven, O Lord, and come down” (Psalm 144: 5); That He actually did; He bowed down His heaven, and came down to us “The Word became flesh “ (John 1: 14). He came down to us to partake of our status, and to strengthen and to support our weakness. ‘Job’ is an example of the good that comes to a man of whom God is mindful. Father Hesychius of Jerusalem “That You should visit him every morning, and test him every moment” (18)... The darkness of our ignorance is illuminated by the light of knowing the Truth; The night turns into light, when the splendor of righteousness shines in our hearts, that were covered by a dense mist of sin. When Paul saw the dawn appear in the minds of his disciples, he said: “The night is far gone, the day is near” (Romans 13: 12). But let us notice that God, after visiting man (at dawn), He would suddenly test him! By His approach, He lifts our hearts up to the heights of virtue; And by His retreat, He would allow for us to be attacked by temptation. Because after gaining 1 2 Cor. hom 10. PG 61: 507. 17 such divine gifts, If the soul is not moved by temptations, it would be puffed up, and would assume that what it gained is through her own power. It happened to the prophet Elijah: When he was visited at dawn, he opened up the gates of heaven by one word; Yet he was soon tempted, and off he helplessly escaped to the wilderness, before a single woman (1 Kings 19: 3). So did the apostle Paul; When he was caught up to the third heaven, into paradise, he was given a vision. And yet, as he got back to himself, he wrested against attacks of his flesh, and submitted to another law in his body members. Being sad because of his infirmity, he looked at the law of the Spirit in him as being threatened (2 Corinthians 12: 2). Pope Gregory the Great “How long? Will You not look away from me, And let me alone till I swallow my saliva?” (Job 7: 19). St. John Chrysostom dealt in his essay ‘The Divine Care’ with the problem of those who get offended in God’s love because of the afflictions that dwell upon them. Let us hasten then to reform those who get offended because of some afflictions; to keep them from falling under punishment, by clarifying to them the cause of their problems; namely, their disregard of God’s care and love! It is the foolishness and busyness of the mind. It is the shameful desire to understand the cause of all events that dwell upon us; and the desire to oppose the unutterable, unrealizable, and unsearchable care of God. Tell me, who has ever surpassed Paul in his wisdom? Wasn’t he a chosen vessel?! Hasn’t he gained the exalted and unutterable grace of the Holy Spirit? Hasn’t Christ spoken through him? Hasn’t God revealed to him what man should not utter? Wasn’t he caught into paradise, and to the third heaven? Hasn’t he traveled by land and sea to draw heathens to Christianity? Hasn’t he gained a diversity of the fruits of the Holy Spirit?... And yet, despite all that; this man, with such greatness, wisdom, power, and fullness with the Spirit, when he considers God’s care, not in its wholeness, but at one of its sides, he hastens to withdraw in contrition, in submission to the unsearchable God. He did not consider God’s care for the angels, the archangels, the Cherubim, the Seraphim, and all the unseen heavenly hosts; Nor His care for the sun, the moon, the heaven, and the earth; Nor His watching over the human race as a whole, the irrational creatures, the plants, the wind, the rivers, and the springs... But he concentrated on God’s special care for the Jews and the Greeks; , and profusely wrote about how God called the Gentiles and rejected the Jews; and clarified how He realized the salvation… At this point, the apostle discovered that he is before an extensive ocean; And the more he got into the depths of this unlimited, unsearchable, indescribable care, the more he trembled, realizing how impossible to interpret its cause; to retreat in reverence and admiration, saying: “Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God...How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out” (Romans 11: 33). Man is not only unable to understand His judgments, but he is in no position, even to start finding out His ways, or to realize their goals and plans. Having said that, filled with awe and trembling, he ended his talk with a praise of thanksgiving, saying: “For who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has become His counselor? Or who has given a gift to Him, to receive a gift in return? 18 For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things,... to Him be glory forever. Amen” (Romans 11: 34-36)1. St. John Chrysostom “Have I sinned? What have I done to You, O Watcher of men? Why have You set me as your target, So that I am a burden to myself?” (Job 7: 20). God testified to Job, that he is a blameless and upright man. But ‘Job’ confesses that he is a sinner. If, before his friends, he proclaims that he is innocent of the horrible sins they think he has secretly done; Yet, to God, he proclaims that he would not be justified before Him, the Watcher of men, who searches their hearts, and minds, and is preoccupied with their holiness and purity. ‘Job’ proclaims to God that he is helpless; He has actually sinned; Yet, as there is none who can fulfill the divine justice, We can only seek His mercies, hide under His wings, and prepare ourselves for the work of His grace, to become the subject of His pleasure. He says: [If I have sinned, What can I do, O Watcher of men?]. Because You know man in his wholeness, having created what is inside and outside him! You testify that I am blameless and upright man (Job 1: 8; 2: 3). So, If those who revile and despise me, disregard and deny the righteousness, that made me worthy of Your testimony; What can I do?! Father Hesychius of Jerusalem “Why then do You not pardon my transgression, and take away my iniquity? For now I will lie down in the dust, You will seek me, But I will no longer be” (Job 7: 21). In a hot supplication, he cries out seeking forgiveness. Obviously, he does not seek mere temporal rest, and a relief of his temptation; but he seeks God’s pleasure, to regain his inner peace. He seeks forgiveness while he is still living; because once he is dead and lying down in the dust, there would be no place chance for repentance, and his relationship with God would be severed. By these words, he proclaims his hope for the anticipated Intercessor, about whom John the Baptist says: “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world” (John 1: 29); and by whom, sin is utterly uprooted from humanity, when our corruption turns into the glory of non-corruption. As we cannot be liberated from sin, as long as we are bound by our mortal body, man longs for the grace of the Savior, for the sake of the perfection of the resurrection, when he considers evil to be completely uprooted. That is why ‘Job’, thinking about the punishment he deserves (through his inheritance of Adam), and the judgment he is worthy of because of his own sins, he says: “Now I will lie down in the earth; you will seek me (in the morning), But I will no longer be” (Job 7: 21). To the first man, when he sinned, it was said: “You are dust, and to dust you will return” (Genesis 3: 19). Now, in the morning; namely, with the proclamation of souls, when thoughts become naked with the coming of the Judge, Light will dwell instead of darkness; according to the words of the Psalmist: “O Lord, in the morning You hear my voice; in the morning I plead my case to you, and watch” (Psalm 5: 3). Pope Gregory the Great Being a sinner, I perpetually need a cure2. 1 Divine Providence 1-2. 2 The Sacraments 4:6:29. 19 Every time we receive Him (in communion), we proclaim the death of the Lord. By His death, we proclaim the forgiveness of sins. If His blood was shed for the sake of the forgiveness of sins, It would be perpetually befitting for me to receive Him to have my sins forgiven. St. Ambrose To be called man, this is the work of God; But to be called a sinner, it is the work of man himself. It is befitting for you to hate your own work in yourself; and to love God’s work in you. Once you are not pleased with your own works, and you realize that there is something wrong with your evil deeds, It would be the start of God’s good work. Confessing evil deeds is the beginning of the good ones. How to do the truth? When you stop spoiling and flattering yourself; If you stop saying: “I am righteous”, when you are not! You come to the light, when your works proclaim that they are done by God; because you cannot hate your sin, unless God shines in you, and the Truth reveals it to you. Whoever loves his sins, hates the Light who advises him, and flees away from him; he cannot realize that the works he does are evil. Who knows the Truth, condemns his evil deeds, and would never justify himself; nor forgives himself until God forgives him. Whoever wishes for God’s forgiveness of his sins which he well knows, should come to the light and says to God: “Hide Your face from my sins” (Psalm 51: 9) Yet how can he say that without adding: “For I acknowledge my transgressions, and my sin is ever before me” (Psalm 51: 3)? Let your transgression be before you, If you do not want them to be before God. Because if you put your sins behind you, God will bring them over before your eyes, on the day when there would be no fruit of repentance1. St. Augustine 1 St. Augustine: On the Gospel of St. John, tractate 12:13. 20 AN INSPIRATION FROM THE BOOK OF JOB 7 OUR DAYS ARE AN INCESSANT TEMPTATION How am I seeing my life on earth? An incessant series of temptations. I live like a laborer who looks forward for the day to come to an end. To rest from his labor, and to collect his wages. The day with all its labor delivers me to the night. And the night with its horror delivers me to the day. When shall I find my comfort? The months of my life are hastening toward departure. The days of my sojourn are passing swiftly like vapor, with no return. If I go down to the abyss, I shall never return to life on earth. And my home on earth will never again recognize me. In the midst of my afflictions, I cry out, saying: Who am I – the dust – that you are aware of me, to chasten me?! Who am I – the ashes – that you visit me?! You are my hope, my pleasure, and my treasure. By You, I do not fear death. By you, my troublesome journey would turn into joyful crossing! Accompany me on my way of suffering. That my grief turns into incessant songs and praises.
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